South African version of Hell

I heard a great joke the other day, and just have to share it.
A man dies and goes to hell (clearly not a good man - or he watched the life of Brian)
On arrival he sees that each country seems to have their own version of hell. Being a bit of a sneaky bugger, he decides he will have a look see whats on offer before settling down for all eternity.

He goes to the British hell and asks a sorry looking Brit what happens in his hell.

The Brit replies, First we get whipped by the Brit Devil for 8 hours, then we are forced to lay on a bed of nails for 8 hours, then we are put into the electric chair for the remaining 8 hours. The next day it all starts again. Wow says the guy, that is really nasty, I think Ill look around for a better deal.

He goes to the German, Italian, French and Greek hells but they all have the same routine of whipping, bed of nails and electric chair.

Finally as his about to just give up, he see's  long ques of people at the South African hell, intrigued he wonders over. He asks Van who is patiently waiting to get in, why this hell is so popular as all the hells he has checked out have the same routine of punishment. Well says Van, we also have the same routine here, but there's some great differences. Leaning closer Van whispers, the South African devil is part of a union so is always on strike, the nails for the bed where ordered over the internet so they were stolen at the post office before they arrived, so the bed is actually very comfortable. The electric chair is powered by Eskom, and due to unforeseen power outages hasn't worked in 50 years.

The V&A Still Rocks

Poor Table Mountain, was groaning with the weight of 1000's of tourist's this weekend. A trip on the cable car was just not going to happen, the photo on the right is about as close as we got. So it was off the the V&A for some alternate fun.

I can remember when the V&A was being built. In those days most Vaalies, went to Durban "by the sea" for their seaside breaks. The Cape was always a bit to daunting for the East Rand crowd. The advertising for the V&A was every where. It was punted as being a one stop, tourist haven, with the best hotels, mall and night life in the Cape. The timing was perfect, as most people where starting to avoid the city center for a night out on the town, as it was getting more and more dangerous. I was up in the Cape allot in those years for business, so I pretty much saw it being built. Man it didn't disappoint. One of my favorite night outs when it first opened was a very mad girls night out at Planet Hollywood.One week later it was blown up by a pipe bomb, now that was pretty sobering.Today (minus Planet Hollywood) the V&A has found its grove. No trip to Cape Town is complete without a day out at the V&A.
There is truly something for everyone. 5 Star Hotels are dotted around, but so to are the less expensive types. But all of them look fantastic. The shopping Mall is grand without being over pretentious. Ok your pay R16 for a ice cream, but you could just go and get a Mr whippy from KFC. The amount of Restaurants is staggering, both inside the mall and on the harbor.

My all time favorite is still Quay 4. Its got the lot, big comfy lounge suites in the sun, if you just fancy cocktails. Pub style benches for meals, all serenaded by a great one man band. Staff are friendly and amazingly fast considering how busy the place is. The menu is not huge but has some great seafood dishes. I had the Quay 4 platter, with prawns, calamari steak, line fish, mussels, rice and chips. The meals come with some great dips, (watch out for the chill) R99 is an absolute bargain.

If your not stuffing your face or shopping up a storm in the mall, there is plenty of activities to keep you happy, Singing and dance groups are every where, we even saw a concert by the correctional services band.

These guys are seriously good, its a bit like the London street artists, who have to audition to get a spot, only the best get in! The best thing is they are always changing the line up, so you see tons of different artists.

If you like the sea, and fancy a trip on a boat you are really spoilt for choice. From speed boats to pirate ships you can take your pick, for the more adventures, there's helicopter flips (still gotta do that one) and shark cage dives (definitely don't want to do that one)

We did a harbor trip on a pirate boat called the Jolly Roger, complete with Pirate show, my son loved it.




Yep 10/10 for the V&A, now what to do about the tourists on the mountain.....hum!